Misbehaving
by Merisel
Summary: Chapter 4 Summary: Ironhide 'scores' Bumblebee has a holoproblem Sam and Jazz give a demo Optimus accepts a challenge. Rated NC17 for holosmut, pseudo mechsmut.
1. Chapter 1

"Sam again?" Ratchet asked with amused tolerance.

"None other," Jazz answered, completely unrepentant.

"...for the third time in five days..." Ratchet shook his head, refraining from smiling. He might have lectured Jazz about letting Sam anywhere near his spark, if he didn't now know firsthand how intense the pleasure was. Humans are truly delightful mates.

Jazz kept still as his processors were repaired. Again. "Wow, that only took four minutes this time," he exclaimed when Ratchet was finished.

"Yes, I seem to be getting much practice at this," replied Ratchet.

"But not just on me, right?" Jazz said with a teasing grin.

Ratchet growled. "Out! And try not to go off-line again, like yesterday."

"That was an accident!" Jazz tossed back as he left Ratchet's domain. As usual, the living room was empty during the afternoon.

Even now, months after the battle, Bumblebee was still reluctant to talk about what he'd endured at the hands of Sector Seven. He'd even tried to downplay it, whenever Jazz asked him about it, but Jazz knew that whatever happened had caused his friend pain. And it'd been all under the orders of one pompous, self-important human. It made his gears grind in frustration.

Jazz went over to Sam's table, pushed the chair aside and accessed his computer. He spent the next hour gathering all the information he could find on one Agent Simmons.

* * *

Subject has been refrozen, until the latest test results are complete, and--" Simmons broke off his transcribing as a 'You've got mail!' message appeared on his computer screen. He put down the recorder and checked his inbox. Sender unknown. That was odd... He brought up the message.

_We know you've been watching._

Simmons frowned, puzzled, and worried. Someone knows about N.B.E. three? That was impossible. Or was it? His first impulse was to blame the Autobots. He knew they must be able to hack into any system, just like the hostile aliens did. But they've been on Earth for a few months now, and haven't done anything to draw attention to themselves, or the abandoned military base they were allowed to live in. The message wasn't likely to be from them. But who, then? What did it mean?

He typed in a reply.

_What have I been watching?_

And clicked 'Send'. All he could do for now was wait for an answer, and hope it gave him some clue about just what the hell was going on.

* * *

"Hey, Jazz. You ready to go to that drive-in?"

"I was ready twenty minutes ago," came the reply.

Sam chuckled. "Ok, ok. Let's get going."

Jazz popped open the passenger door, then drove off once Sam was in and buckled up. "So, what are we going to see?"

"Beats me." Sam smiled slyly at Jazz's holoform. "Didn't Mikaela and Bee tell you? Some humans like to make out at drive-ins, instead of watching the movie."

The car swerved slightly as Jazz's head jerked around to look at him. "No... They failed to mention that."

"Huh. Guess they wanted it to be a surprise for you, and I just ruined it." Sam gave a dramatic sigh. "We might as well go back."

"Not a chance!"

Sam grinned, then leaned back in the seat and enjoyed the ride. Mikaela's directions included taking short cuts through town, so it didn't take long to reach the drive-in.

He paid for two at the gate, since Jazz was using his holoform tonight to drive. The roof and windows went up as Jazz found a space to park in, further back from the other cars in the lot. The engine shut off and Jazz promptly moved over on top of Sam; apparently he _really_ liked the idea of having sex in a public place.

"Whoa..." Sam managed, before he had the breath kissed out of him. He worked his way around to to lay across both seats. It was kinda cramped, but he didn't mind that too much. Jazz's hands worked their way under his t-shirt, pulling it up and off. That was followed by more hot kisses and groping, during which Jazz somehow got Sam's jeans off him.

"Now?" Jazz asked, smiling as he felt Sam's erection between their bodies.

"No.." rasped Sam, making Jazz raise one eyebrow. "My turn this time."

"Sure, Sam," Jazz said, catching his meaning.

It took some maneuvering before Sam found himself on top of Jazz. He hesitated then, unsure. "Uhh."

Jazz glanced back over one shoulder. "You can't hurt me, Sam," he assured him, with a wink.

"Ok." Sam was relieved; he really didn't think he could hold back much longer. He shifted, then pushed forward into Jazz.

Jazz pressed back, as Sam often did, and increased his holoform's temperature by several degrees.

"Yes..." Sam groaned.

Jazz pondered what else he could do. Oh, yes. A moment's concentration, and he made himself tighter around Sam, drawing an even louder groan.

"...oh my god..." Sam rapidly lost control. Damn, he was good!

Since Sam really liked that, he went a little further -- too far, actually -- just as someone banged on the driver's window.

"...on, no..." Sam froze. Mikaela had told him that sometimes a security guy patrolled the drive-in, but he normally left people alone. Geez, just how hard were we making the car rock? he wondered, and tried to pull back, only to find out he couldn't. "..ohmygod.. Jazz, I'm stuck!"

"Sorry.. I got a little carried away with there," Jazz said as he freed Sam. They quickly got back in their respective seats, Sam looking for his clothes as the window was knocked on again? Where the hell'd they go? Under the seat? Damn. "Jazz, we gotta get out of here."

"Yes, we should." The window rolled down just far enough for Jazz to tell an annoyed-looking older human male that they were leaving, then sped off out of the parking lot. "Shall we go to the lake?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," Sam said, once he calmed down. There was no chance of anyone interrupting them there.

* * *

_Us._

Simmons frowned at the one word answer. Us? Who the hell was 'us'? Who the hell was e-mailing him? He leaned forward and typed.

_Who are you?_

Another message arrived just seconds later. So they were a a computer at this very moment.

_Jason and Mikael._

Jason...and Mikael??

"No, no, no!" Simmons stared in shock at the screen. How did they find out? There's no way! He'd taken every precaution. If anyone were to find out he visits that kind of website... He fought down his panic, forcing himself to think clearly. There was every chance this joker didn't even know who he was, let alone have any proof. He glared at the words, angered now, and pounded in a short reply.

_Liar._

Then he signed out of his e-mail. Any further messages, he would just delete. This was just a prank, probably from some bored snotty teenagers. There was nothing to worry about.

Nothing at all.

* * *

Not one minute passed after he booted up his computer early the next morning, when another message alert popped up. Simmons' clenched his teeth, his fear kicking in again, stronger now. Had they been waiting for him to get online? How could they possibly know? He went to his inbox to see if it was from his mysterious stalker. The new message freaked him out.

_To Simmons, our biggest fan_

_Jason & Mikael_

They knew his name!

There was an attachment included, one that Simmons had no intention of opening. His comp did have the best virus protection out there, but he doubted it would be any use against what had to be professional hackers.

"Criminals!" he growled, and set about trying to trace who was sending him this taunts, and where they're located. "Where are you, you bastards..."

Fifteen minutes later he was ready to throw his monitor out the window. This was impossible. There were ways of tracking ISPs, etc., but it seemed these people didn't even have any. What the hell kind of computer where they using? Were they Russian? Japanese? Dammit, he needed to think. Simmons took a few deep breaths. Maybeif he kept up this dialog, they would let something slip.

_How did you find this e-mail address?_

He clicked 'Send', then waited.

* * *

"Yo, Jazz. Whassup?" Ironhide asked, using his friend's Earth jargon.

Jazz tilted his head a bit. "You've been in a pretty good mood lately. What gives?"

"Hmph," Ironhide muttered, but didn't sound nearly as grumpy as he usually does.

_Hmm. _"--you've been spending a lot more time in Ratchet's pad, too."

"Yeah, I am." Ironhide smiled, _very_ smugly.

Jazz's optics blinked twice in astonishment. "Ironhide, you...you old_ dog_!"

His smile turned into a grin. "What, you jealous?"

"Nooo..." Jazz shook his head emphatically. "Sam's more than enough for me."

Ironhide chuckled, then looked at the computer Jazz had accessed. "What're you doing?"

"I'm having a little fun with Simmons?"

"Simmons?" Ironhide repeated, his customary frown appearing. "That Sector Seven man who captured Bumblebee?"

"The very same. I've been trading e-mails with him," Jazz told him, as he sent another message.

_Did you open the attachment?_

Ironhide listened as Jazz revealed all that he'd discovered about Simmons, and even showed him the website Simmons frequently visited. "--what in Primus are they doing?"

"It's called 'bondage," Jazz told him. "It's when one human ties another one down, usually to a bed, before having sex."

"--where's the fun in that?" Ironhide's frown deepened, and he shook his head. Some humans were just too peculiar for him to understand.

"No idea. I did find out that most humans go to great lengths to hide this kind of pastime. Don't know why, but they do." Jazz shrugged, then an idea came to him. "Hey, why don't we arrange a meeting between Simmons and his idols?"

"Meaning you and I pretend to be...those two?" Ironhide gestured to the monitor.

"Sure."

"And do what? Leave him tied up somewhere naked?" Ironhide paused, apprehensive, when Jazz suddenly turned and looked at him. "That was a joke."

Jazz's optics glowed with unabashed glee.

* * *

_Did you open the attachment?_

Simmons stared at that question for a long time, debating. Hell, might as well. He opened the attachment, and stared.

Jason and Mikael were there, in all their naked glory. Mikael was chained to the bars of a large cage. He'd never seen them use a cage as a prop before, and he's seen all their performances. Simmons swallowed. No way. This had to be a trick. He rubbed at his forehead, then typed out a reply. Gotta keep 'em 'talking'.

_Is this a joke?_

_Who are you, really?_

* * *

"He still doesn't believe you," Ironhide stated.

"Of course." Jazz nodded, searching his data banks for a suitable park. Oh, he had to chose this one. It wasn't too far away, either.

_You know who we are, and we know who you are._

_We want to meet you. Tomorrow at midnight, at Bee Canyon Park._

"Tell him he'll be sorry if he doesn't show up," suggested Ironhide.

"Good idea." He added that and sent the message. "That should convince him."

Ironhide nodded agreement.

* * *

_'So I'll be sorry, will I?' _Simmons bristled at the implied threat. They'd better believe he'll meet them, and be fully prepared. He furiously typed in his answer.

_I'll be there._

He clicked 'Send', then went to his closet to dig out his gun, and six bullets.

* * *

The next morning Jazz had a surprise for Sam. Since his human was a huge fan of those James Bond movies, and he personally had gotten tired of his current car mode, Jazz had driven by an Aston Martin dealership and scanned a new model. He chose a silver one; he rather liked that shiny color. It took three honks for Sam to realize he'd changed design.

"Jazz?" Sam asked, approaching him after making sure no neighbors were around to hear him talking to a car. The passenger door swung open.

"Hey, Sam. Like your new car?"

"Man, it's _so_ cool!" Sam grinned back and jumped in, admiring the Aston's design. It was a little bigger and had more room inside than the Pontiac, too. "Thanks!"

"No problemo." Jazz teasingly planted a hand on Sam's thigh as he drove him to the mall again. That was apparently the top hang-out place for teenagers during the summer.

Sam's eyebrows shot up, and he grinned. "Is that a hint about tonight?"

"Maybe... Depends on when you wanna get picked up."

"Why? You got other plans?"

Jazz shrugged. "Nah. Nothing much, but you don't wanna break curfew, right?"

Sam nodded. "Right.. Ok, how about around eight? That'll give us about three hours."

"Three hours. I can handle that," Jazz said, grinning as they reached the mall. He moved his hand up, giving Sam a good squeeze before letting him out of the car.

"Whoa... Hey, I'm gonna remember that!" Sam exclaimed, and hopped out.

"Promise?" Jazz said, winking at him before driving off.

"...better believe it.." Sam muttered, then went inside the mall, whistling to himself.

* * *

"You're late," Jazz complained.

"Not that late," grumbled Ironhide. "This better not take too long."

"Why? Got a hot date waiting?" he couldn't help but ask.

Ironhide growled at him. "Oh, be quiet and keep an eye out for him."

"Okay, okay...grouch..."

"Hmph."

* * *

"Ironhide left the base at this time of night?" Optimus asked, puzzled.

Ratchet nodded, looking slightly irritated. "Yes. He seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere. And Jazz hasn't returned yet, either. I have a vaguely bad feeling about this."

_Vaguely bad? _Optimus turned to Bumblebee. "Would you call Sam and ask him if he knows where Jazz might be?"

Bumblebee hesitantly nodded, concerned. "Sir?"

"What is it, Bumblebee?"

"Jazz has been asking me about Sector Seven, and how I was treated by them."

Optimus blinked at him, surprised. "You believe he may have taken it upon himself to avenge you?"

"It's possible," Bumblebee reluctantly admitted. "He did seem angry, even though I didn't tell him much..."

Ratchet frowned. "This could be a problem, Optimus."

Optimus clapped a hand to his head with a dull metal thud. Why now, after several months of peace? Annoyed, he almost growled out orders."Alert Sam, Mikaela...and Glen. And please scan the computers. Jazz will have used one to gather information on Sector Seven. There may be a clue in one as to where he's gone."

* * *

"What..." Sam groaned as his phone rang and rang, rolling over to look at his clock. Who'd be calling this late? He grabbed the phone, almost knocking it to the floor, and answered it. "Hello?"

"Sam, it's Bumblebee. Did I wake you?"

"Bee?" Sam sat up quickly; his best friend sounded a little...off. "Uh.. No, no. What's wrong?"

"Jazz hasn't returned to base yet. Did he happen to mention any plans for tonight?"

"No... No plans. He should be there," Sam said, worried now. "Did something happen to Jazz? Is he okay?"

Bumblebee hesitated briefly before filling him in. "We believe Jazz and Ironhide have tracked down and arranged a meeting of sorts with Agent Simmons."

"Oh, you're kidding!"

"I'm afraid not, Sam." Bee definitely sounded upset now. As upset as Sam's ever heard him.

"Damn... That can't be good." Sam rubbed the back of his head. What the hell was Jazz thinking, messing with that Sector Seven guy? "Should I come over? I can sneak out easy enough."

"I was hoping you'd offer to. I'll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes."

"Ok, I'll be waiting out back in the alley. See you then, Bee."

"Thank you, Sam." Bumblebee terminated the connection, informed Mikaela and Glen of the situation, then set to work scanning the computers. Jazz did indeed target Sector Seven, and Agent Simmons in particular. Unfortunately, he was unable to discover where exactly Jazz and Ironhide had gone. Jazz had looked up a list of parks, more than a dozen of them. With only himself, Optimus and Ratchet, it would take too long to search each park to prevent whatever it was Jazz had planned.

All they could do was wait for Jazz and Ironhide to return to base. Which was doing nothing to help Optimus' current bad mood.

* * *

Ever cautious, Simmons parked his car in a field about half a mile from the park, and walked the rest of the way. The park appeared to be deserted, but it was hard to tell for sure; most of the tall lamps were turned off to save electricity. He pulled out his flashlight and looked around, in every direction. There was no sight or sound of anyone else here, but that didn't mean they weren't lurking in the shadows. There were plenty of trees to hide behind. Dammit.

_Meet us by the benches_, they'd said. Simmons patted his back pocket, feeling the reassuring bulk of his gun, before heading over there. He spent the next twenty minutes pacing back and forth, looking around in every direction. 11:55 now, according to his watch. The snapping of a branch made him turn to stare at a group of nearby trees. "Who's there!"

"Can you believe that, Mikael? He forgot our names already!" a peevish voice spoke, directly behind him.

Simmons spun around and backed up several steps. _What the hell!? _Mikael and Jason were actually standing right there. Or else they were their exact doubles, right down to the multiple tattoos covering Mikael's thickly muscled arms. Blond Jason was as slender and wiry as he looked on the computer monitor. Neither of them had a stitch of clothing on, either. Simmons shook his head in denial. "This can not happening!"

"We flew all the way from Boston for this?" Jason/Jazz bemoaned. "I'm hurt!"

Ironhide felt a sudden urge to smack Jazz. He split his focus between his Mikael holoform and his truck form, and spoke in Cybertronian, quietly. /_You're over-doing it!/_

_Jazz/car chuckled. /Yeah, but it's fun./_

_/Well...maybe a little./ _Ironhide/truck grudgingly conceded.

"You said you wanted to meet us. In the flesh, right?" Jason continued, moving closer to Simmons. "You even came early!"

"You stop right there!" Simmons ordered, pulling out his gun and aiming it at them. "Who put you up to this?"

_/Now look what you've done/_ Ironhide/truck grumbled.

_/You could help, you know../_ Jazz/car retorted, then turned his concentration back to his temporary new holoform and continued to ham it up. "We didn't know you liked to play with dangerous toys! I can show you another use for that. Minus the bullets, of course."

_/Jazz!/ _Ironhide/truck fairly snarled. /_Weapons are not to be misused in that fashion!/_

_Jazz/car backed up a foot. /Ok! Ok! It was just a joke!/_

"What the hell was that?" Simmons turned his gun toward the trees, hearing a strange electronic sound.

"Squirrels," Jason said.

"Squirrels don't sound like that!" Simmons exclaimed. There had to be more people out there, watching, and undoubtedly recording all this. His gun and flashlight were plucked out of his hands then, way too easily, by Mikael, who was suddenly standing right next to him now. "What the-- How'd you do that??"

Jason actually looked startled himself for a split second, then recovered and smiled. "We're magicians. Couldn't you tell from our shows?"

_/You almost blew it!/ _Jazz/car complained.

_/Sorry/ _Ironhide/truck said, without sounding it one bit. /_Just think this is taking too long./_

_/Well, try to be more careful. This guy's really paranoid./_

Simmons back away and held his hands up, glaring at them. "You'll never get away with this!"

"Relax, I'm not going to shoot you." Mikael rolled his eyes and tossed the gun and flashlight aside, onto the grass. ""Why're you being so difficult?

"Who the hell sent you?" demanded Simmons. "Were they Japanese? Are you working for them?"

"We probably do have Japanese fans. Hell, we have friends all over the world." Jason smiled. "We do read our own message board, you know."

"We've visited fans before, too," Mikael added, and glanced at Jason for back-up.

"Yeah," Jason nodded emphatically. "There's a certain Senator who likes to be spanked while wearing scuba gear."

_/--Huh?/_

_/Don't ask/ Jazz/car told a baffled Ironhide._

_/Sure.. No problem./_

Simmons' mouth dropped open. "That...that's just a crazy rumor!"

"Guess again, "Jason said, smugly. "We've got more stories to tell you, if you play nice."

"Do you like being submissive, too?" Mikael asked, crowding Simmons back against the edge of a bench. A strong tug on his shirt sent buttons flying.

"Uh.. I..." Simmons backed up more, uncertain now, and plopped down onto the bench with an 'Oof!'.

_/Way to go, Ironhide. You got him now/ _crowed Jazz/car.

_/You go for his pants. Don't just stand there watching/ _Ironhide/truck ordered, as his holoform roughly pulled off Simmons' shirt. /_And where'd you say you hid those handcuffs you found at the base?/_

_/They're on the ground, next to the front left bench leg./_

Simmons was too shocked by the whole thing to resist, and tried to think this through logically. This couldn't possibly be happening. It had to be a weird dream he was having trouble waking up from, probably because of that Chinese take-out he had for dinner. It just had to be. Right?

"I think he does," Jason said, coming forward to yank Simmons' pants and undershorts down and off, taking his shoes off, too. "We've had a lot of practice with subs, haven't we, Mikael?"

"Oh, yeah. Lots of practice." Mikael leaned down, pushing Simmons against the back of the bench as he reached for the handcuffs.

Jason sat down on the bench, sidling up to Simmons to distract him while Mikael used the cuffs. "Do you like blindfolds, too?"

Simmons stared, then shook his head vigorously. "No. No blindfolds."

Jason smiled triumphantly. "So... Do you still think we're not really here?"

"Uh..no.." Simmons shook his head.

"Well, you were right the first time," Mikael told him.

"--what?" Simmons gaped, shocked, as Mikael and Jason seemed to...evaporate right in front of his eyes" "What..the..hell?"

The sound of two engines revving up drifted out from among the trees, and two cars were heard speeding off.

"Sonofa..." Simmons started to jump to his feet, but was jerked off balance by the handcuff that now locked his wrist to the bench. "Son of a bitch!"

"What was that about squirrels, Jazz?" Ironhide asked, as they reached the base and transformed back to their robotic forms.

"Hey, it was the first thing I could come up with. You could've been a little quieter, you know," Jazz griped back, following Ironhide inside.

"Yeah, yeah..." Ironhide answered, as they entered the living area. Both stopped in their tracks. Everyone was there, waiting. Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Maggie, Sam, Mikaela, and even Glen. None of them looked very pleased, except Glen, who was playing a game on his computer.

"--Hi?" Jazz said to them.

"Report, you two," Optimus said crisply, his optics narrowing.

_He knows, _Jazz realized, apprehensive as he and Ironhide exchanged glances.

_/He was gonna find out eventually./ Ironhide told him, shrugging._

Optimus crossed his arms, looking very intimidating as he waited.

They took turns telling their leader everything.

"You did what?" Optimus demanded afterward, his angry voice filling the room. "What is the matter with you?!"

"Dudes, that was wicked!" Glen exclaimed, then wisely turned back to his video game at the look Optimus gave him. "...never mind me..."

"We didn't actually harm the man," Jazz was quick to point out, although he and Ironhide both shifted on their feet, guiltily.

"That is not the point, Jazz! We do not take revenge, either!" Optimus snapped back. _Primus, what has gotten into those two?_ He started to wonder if something had corrupted their systems, but Ratchet would have immediately sensed if anything was wrong. Their actions were very reckless, and potentially dangerous, but they weren't infected with anything. However, he could not overlook their behavior. Ratchet crossed his arms, staring at Jazz and Ironhide with strong disapproval, while Bumblebee shook his head in dismay. "Where did you leave him?"

"Bee Canyon Park," Ironhide told him. "We're going to go back and let him go in a couple hours."

Optimus fixed a grim glare on the pair. "No, you will not. You and Jazz are now restricted to the base, for the next thirty days. There will be no 'joy-riding' during that time," he said, looking at Jazz, then at Ironhide, "--or trips to the practice range. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Optimus." Both lowered their heads a little, accepting his discipline without protest.

A further restriction occurred to him, and he looked meaningfully at Sam and Maggie, who'd been looking at Ironhide and Jazz with disbelief ever since their antics had been revealed..

Sam caught on first. "No more sex for thirty days, either, I say," he declared. "That was real dirty, guys."

Maggie looked from Sam to Optimus, then nodded. "I have to agree with Sam. No sex."

"Aw, man..." Jazz, and Ironhide, looked even more chagrined.

"You'll survive," Bumblebee said dryly.

"Simmons did let Bee go, after all," Maggie felt obligated to point out.

"At gunpoint," Mikaela murmured, not as sympathetic to Simmons as her friends.

"Yeah, he's a dick. But he tried to be a useful one."

Glen, overhearing Sam's remark from his computer, snickered.

"He also helped contact the military, to fight the Decepticons," Maggie determinedly continued. "As well as that nasty small one."

"Frenzy," Ironhide scoffed. "That little runt.."

Optimus spoke again, heading off an imminent argument. "Ratchet, would you take these two to your medical bay and perform complete diagnostics on their systems? I believe they may have caught a 'bug'."

"Right away, sir." Ratchet nodded to him, then turned to Jazz and Ironhide. "C'mon, you two."

"...why did I let you talk me into it?" Ironhide growled, giving Jazz a small shove to get him moving.

"--yeah, blame me," Jazz growled back, as they marched into the med bay.

"I'll be back shortly," Optimus told the others.

"Do you want one of us to go with you?" asked Maggie.

He hesitated a moment. "No.. I think it's best if I deal with this alone. But thank you for offering, Maggie."

"You're welcome, Optimus."

"Good luck!" Sam told him.

"Yeah, good luck," echoed Mikaela, a little less enthusiastically, and shrugged. Whatever.

"Thank you." Optimus transformed and rolled out..

Sam and Maggie both crept up to the closed med bay door, where strange noises could be heard coming from within. "Just what do you think he's doing to them?"

Sam asked a couple minutes later, in a hushed voice.

"I have no idea," Maggie replied, equally wide-eyed. "It sounds kind of like...multiple prostrate exams?"

"...geez..." They quietly returned to the living room area, as the groaning continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Simmons was indeed handcuffed to one the benches, despite an ongoing, and furious, attempt to get free, when Optimus rolled up and transformed. He was also, predictably, considerably less than happy to see an Autobot.

"You!" Simmons snarled, one hand strategically placed now. "I knew you were behind this! This is kidnapping! Unlawful imprisonment! Those are Federal offenses! I'll make sure you and your kind are finished! You'll be tossed into a scrap heap by the time I'm through!"

Optimus waited patiently for the man's ranting to cease. Aggression was commonly used to mask fear; he'd seen it in numerous lifeforms. He searched his data banks for the best ways to deal with this surprisingly long-winded human. Humans tended to rely on humor when dealing with stress. After several more seconds, Simmons seemed to 'wind down'. Finally. His loud diatribe had started to get tedious. "Perhaps we should all turn ourselves in to the proper authorities?"

"Wha--?" He stared up at the Autobot leader. It actually thought this was a joke? "Funny...real funny. This is a crime you've committed!"

It seemed that the humor tactic did not apply to this human. Optimus crossed his arms and gave Simmons a stern look. "Is this very different from when you and your men took Bumblebee?" he asked, in defense of Jazz and Ironhide.

Simmons scowled down at his feet. He really did not want to go there; sometimes he could still hear that robot's keening whine. People in his position had to just bury those kinds of memories in order to keep going. "I was following orders, like everyone else," he muttered.

"Blind obedience can be as dangerous as treachery," Optimus said, critically. "However, I do apologize for Ironhide and Jazz's actions tonight."

"That was them? How the hell did they do that?" Simmons demanded. "They looked human!"

"It's called a holoform. We use it to interact more easily with other intelligent species."

"Interact? Interact how?"

"By conversing, for the most part," he hedged, and left it at that. _Was even having a genuine friendship with a 'giant robot' beyond this man's comprehension? _Optimus wondered, sourly. On the other hand, it was fortunate that Agent Simmons was not interested in pursuing the subject further. That would have been quite awkward, considering the real nature of his Autobots' relationships with their humans.

_And here I am, talking to it...to Optimus Prime, like he's a person,_ Simmons realized. It felt...odd. He was silent for a long moment, then dropped back down onto the bench. "Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to uncuff me?"

"Are you certain you want my help?" Optimus calmly asked. He could still sense a great deal of fear, which baffled him. He should have just freed the man immediately and then left, instead of trying to have a conversation with him, but his instincts were telling him that Simmons could be a potential ally in the future. Possibly... That was equally baffling, as this had to be one of the most aggravating human beings on Earth.

His jaw clenched as he answered. "...yes..I need your help.."

"Very well." Optimus walked over to the bench and easily snapped the handcuff with two fingers.

"Thanks..." he muttered under his breath, in a hurry to get away from this damned park.

"Agent Simmons?"

He'd taken just a few steps when it--Optimus spoke again. "--what?"

"Your garments?" He nudged them toward Simmons with his foot.

"...thanks..." Simmons snatched up his clothes, then finally looked up at the robot again. "What do they want from me?"

Large blue optics blinked at him. "I do not understand."

"I mean, what do they want?" Simmons said, yanking his shorts and pants back on. "You should know that I don't respond well to blackmail."

Optimus paused, scanning through a dictionary he'd downloaded. "Blackmail: Extortion or coercion by threats, especially of public exposure or criminal prosecution.. We do not blackmail, Agent Simmons."

Simmons snorted. "You guys are a lot more noble than us, then. If this gets out, my career will be ruined. Ruined! My life would be over."

"Your secret is safe with us," Optimus assured him, although he didn't understand why Simmons was so worried. Perhaps Ratchet or Jazz could shed some light on it. They've spent the most time studying human culture.

"Okay..." He paused for a moment. "You said Jazz.. Isn't he dead?"

"--no."

"So you _were_ able to save him?" Simmons asked. That Autobot had been ripped in half, according to the report he'd seen. How could any living being survive something like that?

Optimus considered how best to answer him. What difference could it possibly make to tell Simmons the truth, really? "It was the All-Spark. A small fragment of it is all the remains. Unfortunately, it was severely drained when it brought Jazz back."

"It can't regenerate, like you Autobots?"

"Ratchet has been monitoring it, and there has been no change in it's energy level. His theory is that it is simply too small to recover."

"That's...interesting..." Simmons searched for and found his gun. He looked at it a moment, then put it back in it's holster.

Optimus glanced down at the human. It seemed as if he'd been about to say something else. "What do you intend to do?"

A frown briefly crossed his face. "What I should do is report this incident to my superiors, but I won't. So long as it never happens again."

"You have my word that it will not," Optimus said, nodding. The man still seemed nervous about something, though.

"Ok... Good..." Simmons put his shoes on last and looked around some more, but couldn't find the flashlight. . "---I could use a ride to my car, too. It's down the road, half a mile."

"All right." Optimus transformed back into a truck, and the passenger door opened.

"Thanks." _That's the third time tonight I've thanked him..._ Simmons thought wryly, then stayed silent until they reached his car and the truck's door opened to let him out. "Look, for what it's worth, I am sorry about what happened to your friend..Bumblebee."

"Thank you. However, I am not the one you should really apologize to," a disembodied voice echoed throughout the truck cabin. "--If you wished to learn about us, you should just ask."

"Yeah.." Simmons nodded slightly, then jumped out. "Thanks for the ride." And that makes it four times.

"You're welcome." The door closed and the truck sped off, fast. On second thought, it may be better if this is the last time he has contact with Simmons. Optimus headed back to his base, where there were much less complicated humans to talk to.

* * *

"I bet he's getting sucked dry by mosquitoes," Sam declared, as they were all still waiting for Optimus's return, which should be any time. It'd been over an hour now. Thank God for espressos. Without them he'd have been sprawled out on the sofa, snoring loud enough to wake the dead.

"Nah, man, it's bats," Glen disagreed. "He'll get bit by bats. Those things love parks."

"Wild dogs get my vote," Mikaela said, getting into the spirit of the guessing game.

"Can we please not debate what might be eating Simmons alive?" implored Maggie.

"I do not think that Agent Simmons has not been left alone long enough for something like that to befall him," Bumblebee pointed out.

"Hey, we can still hope, can't we?" Glen replied, then shrugged and turned back to his game when Maggie gave him an exasperated look. Ratchet came into the living area then.

"How's Jazz?" Sam asked, bouncing to his feet.

Maggie sat up straighter. "And Ironhide?"

"They've gone out back to recharge; they'll be fine. You four are fatigued as well. You should sleep now," Ratchet said, gazing at Maggie in particular.

She smiled at his concern. "We will, as soon as Optimus comes back."

"I'm refueled." Sam lifted a coffee cup when his large yellow friend turned his way.

"Over-caffeinated, you mean," Ratchet said, amused.

"Yeah, that, too."

"He's returned," Ratchet told them, a full minute before Optimus entered the room.

"How'd it go?" asked Sam.

"Simmons is okay?" Maggie said a second later, rubbing at her left eye.

"Yes, he is well, despite his wounded pride," Optimus answered, still a bit annoyed. "I do not believe he will seek revenge."

"Ok..That's good," Mikaela said, not really caring either way, though.

Optimus nodded. "He did show some interest in the All-Spark fragment."

"You told him about it?" Ratchet asked, frowning slightly.

"He was curious about Jazz." Optimus shrugged his huge shoulders. "I also told him that it is now powerless. Even if he were to attempt to acquire it, it would be of no use to him."

"That is unfortunately true.." Ratchet nodded somberly.

"I've been wondering about that," Maggie said, leaning back on the sofa again. "Just how did it...resurrect Jazz? Was his Spark somehow reabsorbed into it when he died, or did it pluck him out of some kind of Cybertronian afterlife?"

Everyone just looked at her.

"Too much sun again, Maggie?" guessed Mikaela.

"Ha-ha," Maggie said, twitching her nose. "I'm just saying that I've never believed in reincarnation, but Jazz coming back to life is the closest thing to proof that I know of. Even if he isn't human."

"I did read somewhere that the human soul is supposed to weigh fourteen grams," Sam contributed. "Wouldn't it be funny if an Autobot's spark weighs that much, too?"

"That's just an urban legend," Maggie told him.

"Do not ask me to try to weigh one of our sparks," Ratchet said at the same time, directing a deep frown at Sam.

"Huh? I wouldn't!" Sam protested, holding both hands up against the medic's glower.

Optimus just shook his head. Humans were such a curious species, always wanting to know how something worked, even when there was no clear answer. Sometimes it was almost enough to make his gears ache.

Mikaela rolled her eyes. "You know what? I think both of you have been out in the sun too much today."

"More like too much caffeine..." Sam countered.

"...or not enough sleep..." Maggie said, giving in to a yawn.

"We can continue this discussion later," Ratchet decided, walking over to the sofa and scooping up Maggie.

"Ooh. You're in one of your bossy moods!" she exclaimed, grabbing hold of a finger as he carried her out the room.

"Yes, I am."

Sam and Glen both snickered, while Mikaela pretended not to hear that and stood up. "Bee, could you give me a ride home now?"

"Right away, Mikaela," Bumblebee happily agreed, since she often asks him to stay over until morning.

"Me, too, Bee? Please?"

Bumblebee nodded. "Sure, Sam. I can drop you off first."

"I got my own car, so I'll see y'all later," Glen called back as he dashed out.

"Bye, Glen." Sam waved. "Thanks, Bee."

"No problem." Bumblebee transformed and rolled out as soon as his two passengers were inside.

_What is it about human mating that has them so mesmerized?_ Optimus wondered, then shrugged and went to check on Jazz and Ironhide's status.

* * *

"You do know they're gonna try to change your minds, right?" Mikaela asked, taking a small sip of her soda. "Optimus didn't actually make it a direct order."

Sam nodded, turning onto his back to get an even tan. Maggie and Mikaela were sitting in the shade of two large white umbrellas. Mikaela's idea, he'd heard. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure Jazz is planning something."

"Ironhide, too, I'd bet," Maggie said, smiling fondly.

"I don't know how you keep up with two..." Sam shook his head.

"Why do you think I bought that espresso machine?"

"Oh..."

Maggie laughed. "Just kidding, Sam. I don't spend all my spare time here doing_ that_."

"I sure hope not!" Mikaela said, and chuckled.

Sam rolled his eyes, then got up off his beach towel. "Well, I'm going for a dip. Anyone wanna join me?"

"I will," Mikaela volunteered, setting her glass down.

Maggie got up, too, glancing around. "I think I'll go back to our 'pad', do a little light reading. Have fun, you two."

They both waved to her before diving into the pool. She waved back, then went inside, pausing by the med bay door to talk to Ratchet for a moment, before going to the living area. Looking through a stack of magazines, she picked one out and sat down to read.

"What are you reading?" a voice asked, making her jump.

Ironhide, of course. That familiar black truck was just to the right of the large doorway, and she wondered how he got so close without her hearing him. He hadn't seemed like the silent type. "It's the latest issue of PC Magazine. It's about computers."

"Sounds--interesting."

"It can be. Sometimes." She shook her head a little; Ironhide really was not good at making small talk. Unless it was about weapons, of course.. He didn't care for human clothing either, she thought, sneaking a peek at the holoform standing behind her. Then again, considering what she knew was on his mind right now, he certainly didn't need any. He placed his hands on her bare shoulders, rubbing them. "That's nice..."

"Good," Ironhide said, feeling her start to relax under the massage. He stopped a minute later, and his holoform moved to the sofa next to her.

"Yes, but you know, it's only been six days..." Maggie mentioned, as he leaned down to kiss her, very intensely. _God, he's...hungry_, she thought, and kissed back. He wrapped one arm around her waist and lifted her onto his lap. _Oops.. He's not wasting any time, either._ She scooted over so that she was straddling on his right knee instead. "Why don't you tell me about your cannons again?"

"My cannons?" He pulled Maggie closer, sliding her further up his leg. "I've got two missile launchers, built into each arm."

She gasped at the friction that caused and dropped the magazine. "Go on..."

"Got a plasma cannon, too," Ironhide boasted, kissing the right side of her neck. A shiver ran through her, and he smiled at the response. This was going better than he thought it would.

"Plasma.. That sounds...effective.."

"I've got spare parts for them all, too, hidden under my armor." Her dark red bikini top was removed and tossed aside. _She looks better without it_, he reasoned.

"Mhmm..." She tilted her head back as he moved down to her throat, her eyes half-closed now. "There's more?"

"Much more." Ironhide turned and laid her down on the sofa, kissing her just below the left ear as he covered her. She still had her bikini on, though. He reached down and untied one of the strings that held the bottom piece together. Maggie caught her breath, running her hands up his sides and back. This was _really_ tempting...

"I had a feeling something like this was going on in here," Ratchet commented from a few feet away, tapping one metallic foot.

Ironhide immediately stopped, and they both looked up at Ratchet. "What?" he asked, unfazed when Ratchet shook his head at him.

"He can be unmanageable at time," Ratchet told Maggie, sounding apologetic.

"I am not unmanageable..." Ironhide objected with a frown, then paused, reconsidering. A smile appeared, and he turned Maggie's face back toward his for one last kiss that made her squeak. "Well.. not too much," he amended.

"Ironhide..." Ratchet said, his foot still tapping.

Ironhide shrugged, then his holoform flickered out.

Maggie took a deep breath and sat up. _Unmanageable indeed, _she thought, keeping a straight face as the truck transformed. The next twenty-four days were sure going to be interesting.

"Someone should make sure this base's perimeter is secure," Ironhide announced, giving Ratchet a disgruntled look before leaving the room.

"I think I'll have to make this up to him later."

"Sorry about that," Maggie said, contrite.

"Oh, I don't mind, and you did say 'four minutes'," Ratchet said, impressed by her timing.

"That I did." She smiled at him. "Thanks, love."

"You're welcome, Maggie," he said, then added, "Your pheromone level has risen substantially."

"Well.." Maggie sighed ruefully. "I have to admit, you two really know how to make me hot."

"Yes, we do," he agreed.

She raised an eyebrow at that. Ratchet sounded just a tad conceited there, if that was possible with someone like him. _Hmm. _She smiled slyly and lay back down on the sofa. "So does that mean you won't need any more...practice?"

Ratchet watched Maggie stretch out her limbs, enticingly, then he transformed to his Hummer mode. She sucked in a breath when his holoform suddenly appeared on top of her. "Definitely not, " he answered.

"Wow.." Maggie said, amazed by his precision. It was a bit unnerving, too, though. "Could you not do that again?"

"All right," he readily agreed, sliding one arm under her back.

"Thanks." She smiled then and wriggled. To get more comfortable, of course.

"I have a cannon, by the way," Ratchet remarked, tugging her bikini bottom off. "As well as a pair of rotary saws."

"Saws? They must be very sh--_sharp_!" she blurted out as he pushed deep inside her.

"Yes, I keep them extremely sharp," he said proudly, tilting her chin up to kiss her.

"Mm--what else?" she asked a couple minutes later.

"I also have five different lasers."

"Lasers are..cool..."

"They're very useful," he said, gradually moving faster as he described each laser to her.

It was getting rather difficult to concentrate; Maggie closed her eyes and just listened to the sound of his voice. _He does have a lovely voice, _she mused. _What was he saying now? Something about fusing wires. He really likes his lasers..._

Ratchet broke off as she arched up against him, almost sending them both tumbling off the sofa. A simple adjustment, making the holoform heavier, easily prevented that problem. It also excited her even more; Maggie arched her back, moaning his name as she peaked. He kept still for several seconds, waiting for the tremors to abate, then started moving again.

"R-Ratch'?" Maggie stammered, her blue eyes widening.

"Practice is essential, after all," he said with perfect candor.

Maggie blinked up at him, then laughed. Why did he have to be so irresistibly endearing? "Oh, of course it is!"

"Indeed..." Ratchet smiled, then picked up where he left off, detailing the functions of other medical tools he possessed, in between more kisses. "I have a few welders, also."

_He'__s still talking about his med tools?_ Ratch' was bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase 'high maintenance'. Maggie tugged his head down for another kiss.

He kissed her back, stopping when she pulled on his hair. "I've usually only used them to merge sections of damaged armor together, after battles."

"Merge..." she repeated, squirming. He was really starting to make her sweat, and was well aware of it, she was sure.

"Merging...joining.." he whispered in her ear, holding her tightly as he thrust deeper.

"Joining...yes!" Maggie cried out then, a shudder racking her body as she peaked a second time. Ratchet continued until she stilled and went limp, breathing hard, and he lightened his weight so she wouldn't become uncomfortable. "Thanks.." she murmured, her hands gliding up and down his muscular back.

"You're welcome," Ratchet said, following that up with more long, slow kisses.

"Mmmm..." Maggie sighed, tangling her fingers in his hair.

"We'll have to move soon. Sam and Mikaela are both showering now," he said a few minutes later.

"Uh-huh... " she sighed, not really listening. "Comfy..."

"So am I," he said, brushing a lock of hair from her face, "but Sam and Mikaela will be coming in here shortly."

"They are? Already?"

He nodded, moving back to let her up from the sofa.

"Thanks," she said, glancing at the wall clock as she put the magazine back on the table. "Wait.. We were on that couch for twenty minutes!"

"Twenty-three minutes, forty-six seconds, to be precise," Ratchet casually replied, deactivating his holoform and transforming.

_Almost twenty-five minutes..._ Maggie shook her head, bemused. "You are a wonder, Ratch'."

"Thank you," he said, blue optics blinking. "I do try to be."

"With practice?" she guessed, grinning at him.

"Of course." He smiled back, then politely applied a fast-drying cleansing solution to the sofa.

Maggie could feel her face turning beet red with embarrassment, and occupied herself with finding her swimsuit. The bottom was on the floor right next to the sofa, but where did her top go? _Oh, damn._ One of the bottom's straps was broken. Ironhide.. He _really_ did not like clothing. And she could hear Sam and Mikaela chatting as they were coming down the hallway outside. "Bloody hell..."

Ratchet solved the dilemma by simply picking her up, carefully closing his hand around her.

"Oh." Maggie tucked her legs up so her feet weren't showing, then froze when Sam spoke up.

"Hey, Ratchet. Where's Maggie?"

"She said she was coming in to read," Mikaela added.

"Perhaps she changed her mind?" Ratchet suggested.

"Maybe." Sam spotted a red bikini top on the floor, a few feet behind the sofa, and picked it up by one strap. "--looks like Maggie had a wardrobe malfunction."

_Oh, no... _Maggie groaned and dropped her head against Ratchet's palm with a dull thud. _..oops._

Sam heard the sound and glanced curiously at the Autobot's right hand. It looked like he was holding something. Or someone. _Ok, this is getting weird._

"Thank you, Sam," Ratchet said, smoothly plucking the top from his hands. "I'll return this to her later."

"Okay." Sam and Mikaela exchanged looks.

"Uhm.. Maybe she got distracted and forgot it?" guessed Mikaela.

"That is possible," Ratchet agreed, adjusting his grip on Maggie as he placed his hands on his hips. His optics blinked when he heard a faint gasp from her. Perhaps he was holding her too tightly now. He loosened his grip a little. "Did you enjoy your swim?"

_Wonderful... _Maggie pulled her hair out from between his fingers. He could have warned her first...somehow.. _Can this possibly get any worse?_

"Yeah, we did, thanks," Mikaela glancing at Sam when he started to fidget.

"That's good. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a certain technique I wish to perfect," Ratchet said in a dignified voice.

_Oh, my God! He would say something like that! _Maggie clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling, and whacked Ratchet's thumb with the other hand.

"Yeah.. You should probably get to that..." _Don't even ask,_ Sam told himself. Mikaela looked like she was thinking the exact same thing.

"Thank you, Sam. I will. " Ratchet said, blinking when Maggie smacked his hand again. She must be getting impatient. He nodded to Sam and Mikaela before walking out the door, heading back to his med bay.

Mikaela shook her head, watching him go. "Those two are_ strange_..."

"No arguments here." Sam cleared his throat, then dug a dvd out of his bag.. "I think we could really use a distraction. Wanna watch that Silver Surfer movie?"

"Yes, please!"

* * *

Jazz crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, watching Ironhide prowl around the side of the building. "Struck out, huh?"

"You think you can do better?" Ironhide grumbled irritably.

"Maybe I will." He grinned. "I do have style, ya know."

Ironhide turned and swatted at Jazz, who hopped back. "Go download more songs."

"Hey, that's an idea. Maybe you should try playing music for her," Jazz said, then beat a hasty retreat at Ironhide's glare.

"Music.. Hmph." Now that he was finally alone, Ironhide sat down next to a large tree and accessed a few recently-stored files.


	3. Chapter 3

"Thanks for the ride, Bee," Sam said, letting Bumblebee close the car door himself; he didn't like having it slammed. "Mikaela's probably already in the pool, by the way."

The car's engine revved in response. "Thanks, Sam!" Bee replied, eager to see Mikaela in that bikini again.

"You're welcome." Sam chuckled to himself as the Camaro sped off, circling around to the back of the building. It was great seeing his best friend so happy. And speaking of happy... Jazz sure didn't look it, leaning against the wall next to the base's entrance, his large silver arms crossed. It's been tough on him, being stuck at the base for eight days now, and having to watch Sam get rides from Bumblebee. "Hey, Jazz."

"Sam," Jazz replied, looking at him.

_Why do I always get the feeling he's mentally undressing me? _Sam wondered, then swallowed. _--probably because he always is.. _"Uhm.. How're you holding up?"

"Can't complain...too much," Jazz said, one optic closing in imitation of a wink, as if he knew what Sam was thinking. "Going swimming again, huh?"

"Yup. Gotta beat the heat somehow, right?" That was the one thing he didn't like about summers in California; It wasn't going to start cooling down for a couple more hours, at least.

"Oh, I don't know.. Some do like it hot."

There was definitely a double meaning there, coming from him. Sam grinned. "Oh, yeah. Sometimes it makes us humans want to strip off everything."

Jazz's optics glowed a little brighter at that. "Really? Wanna demonstrate?"

"Maybe next month." Sam chuckled when Jazz visibly deflated. "Sorry, Jazz."

"Can't hurt to ask, can it?" He paused, then stared intently at Sam. "Actually, there's nothing wrong with just watching you swim, anyway. Is there?"

"Uh.." Sam hesitated, not sure if that was really a good idea, but it was really hard to say to to Jazz. _Especially when he looks at me like that._

Jazz lifted both hands. "Hands-free zone. Promise."

"Well..Ok, I guess..." Sam eventually agreed, shrugging. Jazz must really be bored. _Well, nothing wrong with watching, like he said..._

"Cool."

"'kay. Thanks, Jazz." Sam swung his bag over one shoulder and went inside. The living room was empty right now. Glen was out of town visiting a sick aunt. Or was it uncle? Maggie was attending some kind of all-day-long conference, which meant that Ratchet was probably a little grumpy. Optimus was off doing something... Sam wasn't sure what, or where._ I should ask him, next time I see him._

Ironhide was outside, as usual these days, under one of the bigger trees. Sam waved to him through a window, but Ironhide didn't seem to notice. Sam wondered what he was really doing during his long hours there, then shrugged and ducked into the locker room to change. It wasn't until he'd stripped off his t-shirt and jeans that he felt an 'itchy' sensation in the back of his mind, and he turned around. It was Jazz's holoform -- his timing was impeccable, which was no surprise, really -- casually leaning against the door frame, watching. "Like what you see?" Sam boldly asked, dropping his clothes onto the long bench.

"Oh, yeah," he drawled, looking Sam over thoroughly. "Nice lean body, well-proportioned muscles..tight a--"

"Ok, ok," Sam quickly interrupted. Maybe Autobots just can't be embarrassed by anything. "I get it. You look pretty good, too."

"Only good?" Jazz pretended to look insulted.

"Alright, you look fab. You always do."

"Hey, nothing but the best for you, Sam," Jazz said, grinning at him.

_Can't argue with that..._ Sam rubbed the back of his head, remembering that last time in the parking lot of the mall, long after it'd closed. _Twenty-two days.. I can hold out twenty-two more days._

"Gonna swim naked this time?"

"Huh?" Sam brought his mind back to the present. "Oh. No, Jazz. Sorry."

"Aww."

Sam smiled to himself as he put on swim trunks. Jazz sounded so melodramatic sometimes. If he were a real human, he'd probably be an actor. He sure looked like the 'Hollywood Hunk' type. Actually, Jazz's holoform did kinda look familiar now, he suddenly realized. That Peter guy from Heroes, which just happened to be one of Sam's favorite shows. Sneaky of him...

Jazz watched Sam put on the trunks and stroll outside to the pool, then deactivated the holoform. The door to the back of the base was too small for him to drive through, so he had to go back to the front and circle around the large building, as Bumblebee did. He honked at Ironhide in passing, but was ignored. Or did Ironhide even hear him? He slowed and honked again, but there was still no reaction. _What in the name of Primus has got him so distracted? _Jazz wondered, and continued on to the pool area. Bumblebee was still in robotic form, standing a few feet away from the water.

"Yo, Bumblebee," he greeted, parking next to his old friend, his holoform re-appearing to sit on the Aston's hood.

"Hi, Jazz," Bumblebee responded, then looked back over at Mikaela, who'd left the pool for a minute to drink some of her soda.

_Heh. He's just as bad as me._. Jazz thought, amused. Not that anyone could blame him. Mikaela was very pleasant to look at, and the water made her skin glisten rather fascinatingly. Bumblebee obviously thought so, from the way his optics were fixed on her, and she wasn't unaware of the attention. Mikaela glanced over at Bumblebee and smiled, crooking a finger at him.

"Excuse me, Jazz," Bumblebee said, absently, as he walked over to her.

Jazz rolled his eyes at Bumblebee's back. Whatever she was saying made him more alert._ Probably planning to sneak off for some alone time, if I know them. _He chuckled and turned his gaze back to Sam, who had noticed him looking at Mikaela and was frowning. _He was actually getting jealous? Silly human_. Jazz gave Sam a heated look, which made Sam flush and concentrate on diving off the high board. It was a pretty good dive; Sam must've been watching his Olympics dvd again.

"Sam?" Mikaela called out, once he resurfaced near the edge of the pool. "I need to..ah..run an errand. See you later."

_Bingo_. Jazz kept that remark to himself.

"An errand, huh?" Sam smirked, glancing at Bumblebee, who was doing his best to look as innocent as the day he'd been created. "Have fun, you two."

Mikaela laughed. "You know we will!"

"Bye, Sam." Bumblebee changed back to a Camaro, popping the passenger door open. Mikaela waved to Sam and Jazz, then hopped in.

"See ya later." A couple seconds later they were gone, leaving him alone with Jazz. "So.. What've you been up to this past week?"

"Just listening to Glen's cds," he said, still watching Sam. "Surfed the Net."

Sam raised one eyebrow. "Not more porn, I hope."

"Nah." Jazz gave him a slow smile. "I'm pretty sure I know everything I need to know."

"Right..." _Damn, there he goes again!_ Sam pushed away from the pool wall and swam a few laps. Even underwater, he could just tell he was still being watched, and kept swimming. Six more laps failed to take his mind off Jazz, but it did tire him out. He stopped and climbed out of the pool.

"Done already?" Jazz asked, thinking that a wet Sam was an even better treat to look at.

"Yeah. I think I'll go in and watch a movie."

"After you shower, of course."

Sam paused as he was drying his face with a towel, then shrugged. "Yeah. I should go shower."

Jazz nodded. "The sooner the better."

"Ok, ok. I'm going!" Sam shook his head as he headed in to the shower room. Jazz can be a little pushy sometimes, but he didn't mind. It made things pretty interesting sometimes. He took off his swim trunks, and had just turned the water on when that itchy feeling returned. "Hi, Jazz," he said, not bothering to turn around and confirm his suspicion.

"Hey, Sam." Jazz stood just outside the shower stall, leaning against the edge of the wall.

Sam washed his hair first, but hesitated before continuing. _Well, if he really wants to watch me shower..._ he thought, determined not to let Jazz get to him, and concentrated on washing his upper body.

Jazz straightened up in response, eyes on Sam's hands as they rubbed the soap over his chest. "Need help?" he was quick to ask when Sam seemed to have trouble getting all of his back.

"Nah, I got it." With an impressive bit of contorting, Sam's back was done, and he stepped back under the spray to rinse off.

"Whoa," Jazz muttered aloud. He didn't know his human was that bendable.

"--what?"

"Nothin', Sam," he answered, watching as Sam started on his lower body.

Sam shook his head. This was affecting Jazz, that was obvious, but it was turning him on, too. His body was reacting to the scrutiny, despite his brain ordering it to behave. Sam almost switched the shower to cold water, but he just knew that it was way too late for that to help. _...really should've seen this coming. I am officially an idiot, _he griped to himself. His right hand was already wrapped around his growing erection, stroking fast, as if it had a will if it's own.

Hindsight can really suck sometimes.

Jazz watched avidly, his gaze alternating between that hand, and the expressions on Sam's face as he pleasured himself. He'd been certain that Sam was going to give in and ask for 'assistance', but this...this was a more than acceptable result. Unfortunately, it was over too quickly, to him at least; it only took about half a minute for Sam to finish.

"J-Jazz," Sam groaned during his release, and rested his head against the shower wall. _Geez, I just masturbated in front of him. _

"That was fun, Sam. Thanks!" Jazz said, in a way-too-cheerful voice. "Catch ya later."

"Brat..." Sam growled, watching Jazz's holoform flicker and vanish from the corner of his eye. Outside the shower room, he heard Jazz chuckle.

"Wanna spank me sometime, then?"

"You'd like that too much!" Sam retorted.

"You bet!" Jazz laughed as he left the building.

_Next time think before you open your mouth! _Sam told himself. He hastily finished showering and threw his clothes back on, then went and hid out in the pad. _Guess this round goes to Jazz.._

_

* * *

_

"So how'd it go?"

"Not as well as I'd hoped," Jazz admitted, plopping down with a loud thump next to Ironhide. "Humans can be stubborn."

"Hmph. Tell me about it."

Jazz looked at him a moment. "You've been spending a lotta time out here. What're you doing, communing with nature?"

Ironhide gave the robotic version of a snort. "Hardly. I've been reviewing files."

"Yeah?" Jazz tilted his head, curious. "What kind of files?"

"Maggie files," he said, simply.

"Wha--..." Jazz's lower jaw dropped open, then he smacked his forehead with one hand. "Why didn't I think of that?!"

"Maybe your processors are slow?" Ironhide gloated. "You might wanna see Ratchet about that."

Jazz growled and whapped Ironhide's shoulder. "Very funny, pal."

"I know." He grinned, then leaned back against the trunk, optics closing.

Jazz looked at Ironhide a moment, then followed his example and accessed his 'Sam files'.

* * *

"Should I stop?" Maggie asked in a throaty voice, lying across the yellow medic as she ran her fingernails up and down the wires inside his chest.

"Noo..." Ratchet growled back, his optics narrowing at her teasing.

"All right." She lightly plucked each wire in rapid succession. It reminded her of harp lessons she'd taken, many years ago. These wires, however, made very little noise. No, the real 'music' was coming from Ratchet himself.

"Primus..." he groaned aloud, a shudder making his metal frame shake. "More!"

_So demanding..._ Maggie smiled, letting her fingers glide further up to carefully rub the inside of his spark casing. That had him groaning even louder. Who knew the metal there was so sensitive?

"Ratchet?" Optimus entered the medical bay, looking around for his chief medical officer. Those noises he'd heard... Had something happened to Ratchet? He walked around the large metal table and stopped in his tracks, astounded by the sight before him. Ratchet was lying on the floor, flat on his back, arms and legs splayed out. Maggie was on top of him, her arms elbow-deep in his chest.

Ratchet groaned again. "Primus..."

_Oh, shit!_ Maggie heard the heavy footsteps and hastily pulled her hands out of Ratchet. The sudden movement made her slide sideways, and she tumbled to the floor. "Ow!"

Optimus stepped closer, concerned by her fall.

"Maggie?" Startled, Ratchet sat halfway up, looking at her. "Are you all right?"

"Yes... I'm okay." She rose to her knees, pushing her hair out of her face.

"You're certain?" He carefully picked her up, running a scan as he set her back down on his midsection. Her right elbow had been scraped and the sleeve torn from the metal floor.

"Ratchet!" She gestured emphatically to his left.

He looked in that direction, finally noticing their visitor. "Oh. Hello, Optimus," he greeted his leader, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"Ratchet. Don't you think what Maggie was doing might be a little dangerous?"

"It's not dangerous." Ratchet said, pausing at the highly skeptical look on Optimus' face. "Well, not really..."

"I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing," offered Maggie, sitting cross-legged on top of Ratchet. "Ratchet told me how Sam does it."

Optimus blinked a few times at that "Sam also does this? To Jazz?"

"Well, he isn't putting his hands inside Bumblebee's chest." Ratchet's remark brought that mighty frown back to him. "They know they're not allowed to touch our sparks, Optimus."

_Primus.._ He closed his optics for a moment. Neither of them appeared to have any intention of moving from the floor anytime soon. He gave up trying to reason with the stubborn pair. "If you insist it's safe, I suppose I'll have to accept that, Ratchet. Just be careful, both of you."

It was Ratchet's turn to frown now. "I'm always careful," he declared. "You know that."

"I'm careful, too," Maggie pointed out.

"Yes, of course," Optimus shook his head, then recalled why he'd come here in the first place. "Major Lennox contacted me, and will be visiting us two days from today."

Ratchet nodded. "Good. That should cheer up Ironhide. He's probably outside again, sulking."

_Ironhide sulks?_ He frowned, both at Ratchet's assessment, and the small giggle he heard from Maggie. "I see..." he said, shaking his head again. "I'll tell him the news."

"All right. Good evening, Optimus."

"Goodnight!"

"--good night." He nodded to them, then left the med bay at a fast clip. _From now on, make certain Ratchet is not...preoccupied before going to see him._ Optimus programmed that little reminder as he went outside. He easily located Ironhide in the dark. He was sitting under the large oak tree, next to Jazz. Neither seemed to notice him when he walked up to them. Their optics were closed, but they weren't off-line. He could hear the hum of their processors. "Ironhide? Jazz?"

Still no response. What could possibly have them so absorbed that they were this oblivious to their surroundings? "_**Report!**_" he said, in a booming voice.

"What??" Jazz leaped to his feet, immediately going into battle mode. "What's happened, Optimus??"

Ironhide was up just a second behind Jazz. All three of his cannons popped forward, armed and ready. "Are we under attack?!"

"No, we aren't, Ironhide," Optimus assured him. Their reflexes were still sharp, at least. "I apologize for startling you."

"...didn't startle me..." Ironhide retracted his cannons, and Jazz relaxed, as well.

"Of course not." Optimus smiled at them. "Just what are you two doing out here this late, if I may ask?"

Ironhide merely shrugged, trading looks with Jazz.

_Might as well,_ Jazz thought, and came right out with it. No point in hiding anything from Optimus, after all. "Reviewing some memories we've got filed away of Sam, and Maggie."

Optimus stared at them, baffled. It'd only been eight days so far, hardly a long length of time for an Autobot. "You're actually reviewing memories of..." he trailed off.

"Sex," Jazz helpfully finished the sentence. "Humans refer to it as sex. You should try it."

"I am aware of what they call it, Jazz, thank you," Optimus said, pointedly overlooking his advice.

"We are allowed to do that, right?" Ironhide asked, a little defensive.

"Yes, yes.." Optimus rubbed the bridge of his nose. His officers did have a right -- and were obviously determined -- to explore their new relationships, which had to be very different from any of their previous ones. It was wrong to interfere, he had to admit, even if it did make all of them behave so strangely at times. "That condition was ill-conceived," he conceded to them. "However, you and Jazz are still restricted to the base for the rest of the thirty days."

"Fair enough." Jazz smiled; he knew Optimus would start to come around, sooner or later.

"So now we can--" Ironhide began.

"That is up to Maggie, and Sam," Optimus firmly told him. "However, I have a feeling you both have already tried to sway them."

Jazz laughed. "You know us too well."

"Didn't work, though," Ironhide added, sounding cranky, despite the smile on his face.

Optimus shook his head; something he's been doing a lot of lately. "Sam is still in the living area, Jazz. I assume you'll want to speak to him."

"I sure do. Thanks, Optimus." Jazz gave him a salute, a habit he'd recently picked up, and headed inside.

Ironhide showed a little more decorum, bowing to their leader before he started to follow Jazz.

"One moment, Ironhide."

"Sir?"

"I received a call from Major Lennox a short time ago. He'll be visiting us the day after tomorrow, and he'll no doubt bring some 'toys' for you," Optimus told him, using Ironhide's term for American weaponry that he often asked about.

Ironhide smiled. "I'm looking forward to that."

"I'm sure you are," Optimus smiled back, amused, then nodded his dismissal. "Go ahead. You'll want to see Maggie."

"Hmph. Of course." Ironhide bowed again, then went in.

Optimus followed a moment later. He didn't feel like returning to his private outlook, and instead went to the large, emptied storage room that he used to recharge in. There was little in the way of furnishings, since he preferred it plain. A table sat in the corner, and on it was a powerful, government-issued computer that Maggie had managed to acquire for him. Completely cleaned by Jazz of any listening devices, and other means of spying, naturally.

Sheer curiosity led him to access that computer, and investigate the humans' method of mating.

* * *

Ratchet's optics blinked in surprise when Ironhide enter the medical bay; he had been avoiding it the past several days. "Ironhide?"

"Yeah, that's my name," he said, looking around the room. The black screen had been knocked aside and was on the floor, in three pieces. Maggie was lying in bed, covered up. "What happened in here?"

"Ratchet overreacted," Maggie said with a sigh, pulling a heavily bandaged arm out from under the blanket. Whatever ointment he'd put on the scrape was making her sleepy, fast.

Ironhide planted his hands on his hips and glowered at Ratchet. "You're always telling me to be careful!"

"It was an accident," Ratchet insisted. "Optimus had come in to speak to me."

"--it only bled a little," Maggie offered.

"You're saying it's his fault?" asked Ironhide.

"Of course not," Ratchet said, frowning back at him. "And I'm surprised to see you here. I assumed you were spending the night outside again."

"Well, since you asked, Optimus finally changed his mind about the thirty days. The mating part, I mean."

Ratchet's frown deepened and he crossed his arms. "She needs rest, Ironhide."

Ironhide huffed. "You think I can't see that?"

"Oh, stop it. Honestly," Maggie interrupted, struggling to sit up. "You two sound like an old married couple."

"You shouldn't move that arm," Ironhide said, directing his frown at her.

Ratchet nodded. "He's right."

She dropped her head into her right hand. They were going to give her a migraine if they kept this up. "It's kind of hard to rest with you yelling at each other," Maggie mumbled. Her eyelids were getting heavy now.

"We're not yelling," Ratchet said.

"One of us isn't," grumbled Ironhide.

If she'd had the energy, Maggie would have tossed her pillow at them. She settled for throwing the blanket over her head, and hoping that they get the hint. It seemed to work; she couldn't hear them bickering anymore. Then the blanket was pulled back, and Ratchet's holoform slipped in under it, next to her.

"Does your arm still hurt?" he asked, scanning the limb. The wound was healing well, he noted, pleased with it's progress. There won't be any scarring.

"Nope," Maggie told Ratchet, for the third time, and turned to face him. Not to be outdone, Ironhide joined them in the bed, behind her. "Mm.. matching bookends."

"Huh?" Ironhide looked puzzled.

"You wish to read a book?" Ratchet asked.

"..maybe later..." she murmured, feeling _very _comfortable with two pairs of arms around her, and conked out.

"Hrmph. Don't know why everyone thinks I've got no self-control," Ironhide said, once Maggie was sound asleep.

"I can't imagine why, either," Ratchet remarked blandly.

Ironhide grumbled, as expected, then looked across the room at the truck and Hummer, falling silent.

"What are you thinking?" Ratchet asked, curious.

Ironhide smiled, almost looking mischievous, like Bumblebee when he was up to something. "I'm thinking self-control might be a little overrated," he said, and his holoform flickered and disappeared. Ratchet turned to watch the truck transform. "You coming over here, or not?"

"Very well," Ratchet said, indulging his companion. Carefully sliding an arm out from under Maggie, who barely stirred, he tucked the blanket around her before deactivating his own holoform. Ironhide's chest armor was already opened by the time he finished transforming. "Impatient, are we?"

"Yeah, well.. It's been a while."

"Only ten days," Ratchet said, a trifle exasperated, as he moved his own armor to the side.

"That all? Seems like longer..." Ironhide shrugged, reaching out and pulling Ratchet up against him.

"Yes...it does.." A growl escaped Ratchet as their sparks merged. Ironhide settled down onto the floor underneath him, where they remained for the rest of the night, locked together.

* * *

Sam was sprawled out on the sofa, in a Marty McFly position, when Jazz sauntered into the room

"Yo, Sam." Jazz poked him in the ribs with one large finger.

"Oh, yeah..." he mumbled, one arm flopping out to hang over the edge of the cushion. "Jazz..."

"C'mon." He poked him again. "You'll get a sore neck sleeping like that."

"Wha-? Jazz?" Sam raised his head, looking up at him bleary-eyed, having been dragged out of a really intense dream. "How'd you get in my room?"

"We're not in your room. We're still at the base. Remember?"

"Oh, no...No, no, no.. I forgot to call Bee..." Sam groaned and sat up, sort of. "My parents are gonna flip out."

"No worries there. I called 'em and told 'em you're staying over," Jazz told him.

"Ok... And they're ok with it?"

"Yup. Of course, they weren't gonna argue with a 'giant statue'," Jazz said, smirking. "Your dad did demand proof you were still alive, so I let him hear your snoring. That convinced him."

"Gee, thanks." Sam made a face at him, then slumped back down on the sofa, feeling sleep start to overtake him again. "What've you been up to?"

"Well, our Glorious Leader, in his Infinite Wisdom, has seen the Light."

Sam gave Jazz a blank look. "----Say what? Have you been reading Shakespeare or somethin'?"

Jazz chuckled. "Maybe.. Anyway, Optimus has let me and Ironhide off the hook, so we can mate again."

"That's great..." Sam yawned, fading fast. "Have fun.."

"Huh? I didn't mean me and Ironhide!" Jazz frowned, then shook his head. Sam was fast asleep again, and probably won't even remember what he'd told him. Too bad.

_Well, I've waited eight days already. A few more hours are no big deal_, Jazz decided. Or maybe he'd wait longer; he did enjoy teasing Sam, and being teased back in return. Besides, he was determined to find out just what Sam had been dreaming just now.

It sounded like it'd been pretty interesting, and will probably a lot of fun to reenact.


	4. Chapter 4

"...almost drowned me in this..." Maggie muttered the next morning, unwinding several layers of white cloth to get at an abominable itch. Really, just one large band-aid would have been enough. After a few seconds of careful scratching, she dragged herself out of bed. Where did Ratchet and Ironhide go? "Hello?" she called, looking around the room twice before spotting them. They were on the floor next to Ratchet's work table, connected at the chest.

She quietly opened one of the table's drawers and found where the smaller bandages were. Taking one, she tiptoed past the Autobots, sneaking out to visit the restroom and take a quick shower. A nice, long, hot shower never failed to help her wake up.

Carefully patting her elbow dry afterward, she turned to one of the mirrors and inspected the scrape. It look much better now, thanks to Ratchet's treatment. She put the band-aid over it, wrapped a towel around herself, and went back to the med bay. They'd both moved while she was gone. Ratchet was now lying across the table, optics still closed, with a faint humming coming from his processors. Just beyond him, Ironhide had changed back into the black truck. _Guess I wasn't quiet enough._ She walked over to the table, laying a hand on Ratchet's foot. "Ratchet?"

Ironhide's holoform appeared next to her. "He's recharging right now."

"Ahh. Of course he is," Maggie said, holding back a smile. He must've kept Ratchet _very_ busy.

"How's your arm?"

"Much better, thank you," she answered, rolling her eyes when he felt the need to come over and see for himself. "I thought a smaller bandage would be enough now."

"Mph," Ironhide said, apparently agreeing, since he didn't argue.

_So eloquent sometimes_. "So... last night you said something about Optimus changing his mind?" she inquired, admiring his physique.

"Yeah, he did, about us joining, but he also pointed out that it's up to you." He gave her a speculative look.

"Mmm...very true..." she purred, laying a hand on his broad chest, then letting it trail down, over his ripped abs. He slipped an arm around her, pulling her closer. Maggie leaned into Ironhide as she kissed him, and wasn't a bit surprised when her towel came loose and 'fell' off.

Encouraged by her response, Ironhide kissed the side of her neck. Maggie sighed, tilting her head to give him better access. He glanced over at the bed on the other side the room. _Too far away_, he decided, and slowly backed Maggie toward the wall behind her. She raised one dark eyebrow at him when he pressed her against it.

"Well...you're--" Maggie gasped when he suddenly lifted her up and entered her. Whatever she'd been about to say flew right out of her head, and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. Ironhide went still then, for what felt like an hour to her. _He always does that! _she thought, clutching his shoulders. Just what was that about, anyway? Was he scanning her or something? _Hmm.. _Maggie dug her fingernails in, just a little, to spur him on.

He growled at the sharp, needle-like sensations, but didn't fall for it, gripping her hips as he moved slowly.

_Damn... _Bracing her hands against the wall, she pressed down, pushing him in deeper.

Ironhide paused for a second, obligingly changing his holoform's anatomy and adding four more inches.

"...oh my god..." Maggie moaned loudly, writhing now. She didn't know he could do _that_! That felt so..strange, and was driving her right over the edge.

Ironhide growled again, feeling her body tensing, and thrust hard and fast now. "Uh..yes!" she gasped, letting out a scream as she climaxed. He kept moving, drawing the moment out, until she dropped her head onto his shoulder, spent. "That was...incredible..." she managed, panting.

"Yeah, it was," he agreed, running his hands slowly up her sides as he stored another file away in his memory bank.

"It certainly sounded as if it were," a sardonic voice said from behind them.

_Oops... _Maggie thought as they both looked back at Ratchet.

Optics open, he raised up on one hand, aiming a thoroughly disgruntled look at Ironhide. "May I recharge now?"

"Sorry, Ratchet. Didn't mean to 'wake' you," Ironhide said, with a good-natured shrug. "Go ahead."

Ratchet shook his head, then lay back down, muttering about Maggie's arm as he went back into stasis.

Jazz chose that moment to make his entrance. "Yo, can you two lower the volume?" he asked, a big grin on his metallic face. "You're kinda freaking Sam out."

"...oh, no..." Maggie buried her face against Ironhide's chest. _Sam and Jazz, too? _

"We can try.." Ironhide said with a smirk, making no promises.

"Try really hard?" suggested Jazz. "Or else I'll put ya on speakers next time."

"Don't even think about it," Ironhide growled.

Jazz just smiled at him and left.

"He wouldn't...would he?" asked a red-faced Maggie.

"Wouldn't put it past him.." he grumbled, stepping back and lowering her to the floor, then opening a link to his leader. /_Optimus?_/

/_Yes, Ironhide?_/

/_Request permission to visit the target practice range._/

Maggie leaned against the wall for a second before walking, a little unsteadily, over to her wardrobe to pull out clothes.

_/I think that would be best,_/ Optimus replied, his amused tone letting Ironhide know that he'd heard, too. /_Permission granted._/

/_--Thank you, sir._/

Ironhide closed the link and turned around. Maggie was putting on a shirt and short jeans. "Mph." Well, clothing was just a minor inconvenience, really. He shifted his hologram to the truck's driver's seat, and the passenger door popped open.

"Where are we going?" she asked, coming back over to him.

"Target range. We won't be bothered there."

Maggie shook her head, then smiled, taking a minute to button her shirt first. The truck's horn honked, and she laughed. "All right, all right! You're so impatient!"

"Only sometimes," he declared, closing the door after she climbed in and rolling out.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Sam exclaimed, bolting upright on the sofa.

"Maggie," Jazz answered, nonchalant as he tilted his head, then grinned. "With Ironhide, I bet."

"..Geez..." muttered Sam. "...do_ not _wanna know..."

"You sure? Sounds real interesting to me," he teased.

"No! I mean, yes! I'm sure." A chuckle filled the room, and Sam rubbed his forehead. Only Jazz would actually have the nerve to want to go see what those two were doing. "Could you just close the door?"

"It is closed, Sam. " Jazz said, amused. Maggie does have pretty impressive vocal cords. "Hang on."

"No, wait..Jazz!" Too late. The silver Autobot was already out the door, on his way to med bay. Sam groaned, planted a cushion over his head, and determinedly went back to sleep.

_Snoring again, _Jazz mused when he returned a minute later. Sam should really try those Breathe-Right things they'd seen commercials for. He sat down behind the sofa and waited for his human to wake up again. In the meantime, he decided to record a good ten minutes of snores.

Just a little something to play back for Sam later.

* * *

"It's beautiful here," Mikaela said, snuggling with Bumblebee on the hood of the Camaro. They were both watching the sunlight glitter over the lake, which was their own special place now. It was where they'd first made love, after all.

"Yes, it is," he agreed, his hands gliding up and down her slender arms.

She smiled and twisted around to straddle his waist. "Almost as beautiful as you," Mikaela said, caressing the car hood as she kissed Bee.

Bumblebee eagerly returned her kiss; he always enjoyed it when she took charge.

Mikaela deepened the kiss as she rubbed her body against his, delighted when Bee responded in a perfect imitation of an aroused human male. Hands bracing herself, she rose up and slowly sank down onto him. She stopped halfway, teasing him, though it was damned hard. He felt so good...

"Mikaela," Bumblebee protested.

She grinned wickedly, lowering herself another inch, then stopping again. "Something wrong, Bee?"

"Not at all," he answered, just as the Camaro jerked forward. Mikaela slipped on the smooth metal and dropped down, completely encasing him.

"Bee..." she squeaked, rocking forward instinctively. "That's cheating..."

Bumblebee merely smiled, his sensors taking in the warm tight sheath, each intake of breath -- he could even sense the blood coursing through her veins. His hips bucked up, as a human's would, in time with Mikaela's rocking. Her pulse was steadily quickening, along with her heartbeats.

"Bee..." Mikaela repeated huskily, eyes closing as she rocked faster. A weird electric shock jolted her just then, and she opened her eyes to see Bee's holoform flicker, sending another shock tingling through her. She gasped. "Bee? What's happening?"

"I...don't know, Mikaela." Perplexed, he tried to reroute more power to his holoform, but that also failed. Something was definitely wrong. All he could do now was deactivate it, to avoid giving Mikaela an even stronger shock.

Bumblebee's holoform vanished, and Mikaela found herself sprawled on the car hood. She'd been so close! "What--?"

"My holoform generator is...not working correctly," Bee said, chagrined.

Mikaela rose to her knees, laughing. "You mean we...broke it?"

"It's not funny," Bumblebee grouched.

"I'm sorry...It's just... How are we going to explain this to Ratchet?"

There was a short pause before Bee admitted, "Okay, maybe it's a _little_ funny."

She managed to stop laughing and slid off the car's hood. Ratchet was so going to lecture them for this! The passenger door opened and she jumped in, finding her clothes scattered over the back seats. She put them back on as Bumblebee sped back to the base.

* * *

"Ratchet?" Mikaela entered the medical bay first, finding the medic lying prone on his work table. Recharging? In the middle of the day? She went over and tapped on his foot. "Please wake up. This is an emergency...sort of.."

"He's in stasis," Bumblebee said, having transformed from the Camaro before following her in.

"I was in stasis, you mean..." Ratchet opened his optics and turned his head toward them. He had expected it to be Jazz who would need his help, yet again.

"Maggie's not here?" Bumblebee asked, looking around. He had hoped to say hello to her.

"No, she's gone to the practice range with Ironhide; Optimus rescinded his decision on mating," Ratchet answered, then got down to business. "You said there was an emergency?"

Mikaela nodded. "You need to run diagnostic tests on Bee."

"My holoform generator appears to be damaged," Bumblebee elaborated.

Ratchet sat up and looked at them. "You've worn it out, haven't you?" he asked mildly. They both looked guilty, to his amusement.

"So it seems.." Bumblebee mumbled, carefully examined the cords of his right arm.

He shrugged and jumped down to the floor. "Lie down on the table, Bumblebee. And I'll need you to remove your chest armor, of course."

"Yes, Ratchet." Bumblebee meekly obeyed.

Ratchet set a tall stool next to the table for Mikaela, so she could watch as he examined Bumblebee. The inner workings of an Autobot fascinated her, just as it did Maggie. Bumblebee had indeed over-worked his holoform, he noted, shaking his head as he searched through his collection of spare parts. Youngsters like him must never have heard of the term 'moderation'.

A few minutes later his work was done, and Bumblebee's armor was back in place. "Try not to use your generator until tomorrow, to give it time to 'reboot', so to speak," Ratchet instructed, almost smiling at their disappointed expressions. "You could always try Sam's technique."

"What technique?" Mikaela asked. Bumblebee also looked interested.

Ratchet contemplated how best to explain it to them, then a better idea occurred to him. "Perhaps Sam and Jazz will be willing to demonstrate it for you," he mused. That should keep the four of them occupied for several hours. "I believe they're in the living area."

"Okay. We'll go ask them. Thanks," Mikaela said.

Bumblebee hopped down from the table. "Yes, thank you, Ratchet."

"You're welcome, Mikaela. Bumblebee."

Once they were gone, Ratchet contacted Ironhide. /_Where are you?_/

_/We're still at the practice range/ _Ironhide replied. /_Maggie's offline right now._/

_/----would you please try to not exhaust our mate, Ironhide, and return soon?_/

_/Hmph. Not going to, and we will. Eventually._/

_/Thank you... /_

_/Welcome/_ Ironhide replied, sounding entirely too pleased with himself.

"Hmph," Ratchet muttered, copying Ironhide, as he put his tools away.

* * *

"Hi, Sam."

"Hey, Mikaela," he answered, glancing away from The Fast and the Furious playing on the t.v.. Jazz really liked those cars. "Hey, Bee."

"Hello, Sam."

"Can I ask you a favor?" Mikaela asked, smiling as she sat down next to him and Jazz in front of the sofa.

"Uh... Ok.." Whenever she gave him that look, it was usually a _big _favor.

"Could you show us your special technique?" Her smile was directed at both of them now. "Ratchet mentioned it to us."

"Oh...Uh..." Sam looked over at Jazz, who smirked.

"I got no problem with that, Sam. Besides, it's not quite the same as having sex, right?" Jazz said, deciding not to tell him about what Optimus had said.

"Huh? But I heard.." Mikaela broke off when Jazz made a small gesture with his hand. She shrugged back; If he wanted to wait out the rest of the thirty days, it was his choice. "So what do you say, Sam? Will you show us?" she asked, employing that smile again.

"Ok, sure." _Anything to get out of watching F&F again, _he thought, and stopped the dvd. "Get ready, Jazz."

"Sure thing, Sam." He moved over a little, away from the sofa, then lay back and opened his chest armor. Sam climbed up onto Jazz's legs and scooted forward, stopping just short of his exposed chest. "You two might wanna come over here and watch?" Jazz told Bumblebee and Mikaela.

"What is he..Is that safe, Jazz?" Bumblebee asked, apprehensive, as they both came closer for a better view.

"Oh, sure. As long as he doesn't touch my spark, or break any of my wiring."

"Which I haven't yet," Sam said with a grin. "Just watch." He shifted for a better angle, then worked both hands into Jazz's chest. His fingertips flicked over the wires, and Jazz groaned, arms and legs twitching.

"That's... Wow..." Mikaela watched avidly.

Bumblebee's optics widened. "--does that cause pain, Jazz?"

"Only the...good kind.. Keep going..Sam..."

"No problemo." He rubbed his thumb across the wires, then plucked them, two at a time. Jazz shuddered, his armor rattling loudly.

"I think I get it," Mikaela said, and grinned up at Bee. "What do you think, Bee? You up to trying something new?"

Bumblebee hesitated for only a moment. What Sam was doing sure had Jazz's circuits buzzing. "Let's do it."

"Great." She took a step back, watching as Bumblebee pulled open the armor from the center of his chest before laying down on his back. His head turned slightly, and he fixed his optics on her. Mikaela carefully climbed up, getting into a comfortable position by straddling his midsection. Behind them she could hear more groans from Jazz. "Ready?"

Bumblebee nodded. "I'm ready, Mikaela."

"Okay." She leaned forward, getting a good look at all the wires and cables, and Bee's spark, pulsing a bright blue color. Her fingers reached into the narrow space, and she stroked a bundle of wires.

"Mi-kaela..." Bee moaned, shivering underneath her. "That does feel g-good."

She smiled up at him. "This should feel even better, then." She turned her hand a bit, and dragged her fingertips over the wires, making them vibrate.

"Yes..." A loud groan broke from him, and he lurched up, almost unseating her.

"Ok, maybe too good!" Mikaela grabbed hold of the edge of Bee's chest armor.

Sam laughed. "No such thing as 'too good', Mikaela. Just ask Jazz."

Mikaela looked over at them, then laughed, too. Jazz looked totally out of it now. "I don't think Jazz is up to answering any questions, Sam."

"Exactly!"

Still laughing, Mikaela turned back to Bee, plucking the wires just as Sam showed her to.

"Primus!" Bee lurched again, both arms flopping out to his sides. Mikaela was ready that time, keeping her seat as she continued plucking, drawing more loud groans from him. He really was capable of a wide range of sounds.

Sam glanced over at the living room door when a vehicle drove past it, fast. "What--who was that?"

"Ratchet, going to the practice range, I bet." Mikaela chuckled mischievously. "They are kinda loud, aren't they?"

"Uh-huh. It's great!" Sam said with a wide grin. This has got to be what getting high feels like.

"Oh, 'kaela?" Sam called out a few minutes later, over Jazz's groaning. "Another thing you can try is the spark casing. Push on the outside of it, just a little bit. It kinda squeezes their spark. Watch."

Mikaela looked over at them just as Sam reached further into Jazz's chest.

The silver Autobot practically shouted, a huge shudder making his metal body shake, then he dropped down with a loud thud. "...Primus...Sam..."

"Whoa..." she breathed, turning back to Bee and leaning in, closer to his spark. It was so interesting, the way it pulsed, almost like a heart. She tried something else and lightly blew on it. The spark flared brightly under her warm breath and Bee arched up, growling out something in Cybertronian, before sinking back down, going limp beneath her. "What...what was that?"

"I...need to...recharge," Bee said, his voice sounding strained, as his optics slowly closed.

"...me, too..." Jazz commiserated. "Recharge.."

"Go ahead, Bee," Mikaela urged, stroking the outside of his spark casing. Another shiver ran through him, smaller this time, then he went still, going into stasis. "Oh. He forgot to close his armor, Sam."

"So does Jazz. A lot." He shrugged, smiling smugly as he climbed down from Jazz. "Guess it doesn't matter; we're all safe here."

Mikaela nodded in agreement, swinging a leg around and sliding off Bee. "How long do you think they'll take to recharge?"

"Oh, an hour. Maybe two." He grinned. "And they'll be begging for more."

She laughed. "Jazz begging? Now _that_ I've gotta see."

"You will. Just wait."

"I have no doubt that that is true."

They both turned to see Optimus standing in the doorway, surveying the scene before him.

"Hey, Optimus. How're..." Sam broke off abruptly, an idea popping into his head. It was totally outrageous, which made it way too hard to resist. "You wanna give it a try?" he asked Optimus, giving the briefest of winks to Mikaela, who stifled a grin.

"What?" Optimus' optics blinked in surprise. "Of course not. Not at all."

"Not at all?" Mikaela managed a pout. "You're not afraid of us, are you?"

"Afraid?" He frowned now. "Why should I be afraid? Ratchet assured me that your method is safe."

"But you still don't want to..." Sam looked crestfallen. "Bummer."

"I don't understand why," Mikaela sighed. "I mean, we Munchkins can't possibly hurt you, right?" She held up her hands, tiny compared to Optimus'.

Optimus was silent a moment, looking down at them appraisingly. He was extremely curious, he had to admit. Still mulling it over, he glanced at Jazz and Bumblebee.

"I'm pretty sure Bumblebee won't mind," Mikaela said, noticing his hesitation.

"I _know_ Jazz wouldn't."

"Very well," Optimus said, slowly, accepting their challenge. "But only this once. Is that understood?"

"Deal!"

"We understand," Mikaela added, thinking, _Oh, my God! I can't believe we actually going to do this!_

"Good," Optimus said, looking around again. This little experiment required him to be in a prone position, and the other two Autobots were taking up most of the floor space. "But not here. In my storage room."

"Sure, Optimus." Sam found himself holding his breath as they followed him there. He was actually going to let them? He was! Optimus stretched out in the center of the room and lifted his hands to his chest. A little nervous now, he watched Optimus slowly pull apart the large plates of armor. This was the mighty leader of the Autobots, after all. What if it doesn't work as well with him? The last thing Sam wanted to do was screw this up for him.

"Okay.." He walked over to Optimus, with Mikaela one step behind. They circled around him, trying to figure out how to climb up without falling and going splat; he was a lot bigger than Jazz and Bumblebee. "Uh..."

"Allow me." Optimus picked up Sam and Mikaela and set them down on top of him, just below his chest.

"Thanks." Mikaela found a secure, semi-comfortable spot and lay down, getting a birds' eye view of the inside of Optimus' chest. Sam settled down next to her, and she let him have the first turn. He flexed his fingers, then dove in, strumming his fingertips across the mass of wires. That definitely got a reaction.

The spark surged, almost crackling in intensity, and Optimus' groan was thunderous.

"Whoa..." Sam marveled. _Is he repressed, or what?_ He waited for Optimus to settle down before strumming some more. They both hung on tightly as Optimus lurched upward. It was a good thing there weren't any windows in here, or his deep howl would've had them rattling like crazy.

"My turn, Sam," Mikaela said, once Optimus was quiet again.

"Be my guest."

"Thanks." Instead of strumming, like Sam did, she rubbed her fingers along the entire length of the wires, down, back up, then down again, several times.

"Please...do that..again..." Optimus groaned, hands clenching into fists. His sensors were vibrating from the powerful stimulus, as were his processors. It was no wonder his Autobots were so... Enamored was the human term.

"Yes, sir!" Mikaela repeated the caresses, ending by lightly pinching five of the wires. That produced another howl, which almost hurt her eardrums. "It's your turn now, Sam," she told him, sitting back.

"How 'bout together?" he suggested.

"Okay.. Yeah, sure." They both leaned forward again, into the chest cavity. Sam worked the top half of the wires, Mikaela the bottom half.

After nearly ten minutes of this, Optimus was practically begging. "...finish..it.." he growled, his systems very close to going offline to recharge.

"You're the boss, Boss." Sam couldn't help but make that crack, and Mikaela gave him a look. "Sorry."

"That was really bad, Sam.."

"Yeah, I know." He shrugged, mainly at himself, then leaned in further, showing Mikaela where to place her hand on the outside of the spark casing. "--better close your eyes," he warned.

She nodded, eyes tightly shut as they squeezed the casing between their hands. The spark surged so brightly they could see the blue flash through their eyelids.

The resulting shudder almost lifted Optimus right up off the floor. He dropped back down, his metal frame crashing against the hard floor.

"Optimus? You ok?" Sam asked, hoping he didn't knock anything loose, or dent himself.

"Yes... I am...very well..." Optimus' optics flickered, then closed, as his systems began going offline. "Thank you, Sam...Mikaela."

"You're welcome," they both said, at the same time.

Sam leaned down, listening, then sat up again. "He's recharging now," he told her, before sliding off and turning to help her get down.

"That was awesome," Mikaela murmured, feeling a little buzzed as she leaned against Optimus' side.

"Tell me about it!" Sam dramatically wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "We'd better get back to Jazz and Bumblebee now."

Mikaela grinned, then impulsively hugged Optimus' head before heading for the door.

Sam chuckled at that funny-looking sight. Her arms could barely fit around that one side of that huge head.

"Oh, hush."

"What? I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking it," she grumbled, getting another laugh from him, which she steadfastly ignored.

"Well, today was a total win, I think," Sam quipped when they returned to the living room, looking at the Autobot-covered floor.

"Oh, definitely," Mikaela laughed. "We've got another hour or so before they 'wake up'. Let's watch a movie."

"Great idea." Sam whistled to himself as they picked out a movie to watch in the meantime. One that didn't involve racing cars.


End file.
